The Great Macaroni and Cheese Caper

This is not a movie review.

Or a book review.

Or a music/CD review.

 

No … this is a side-of-the-box cooking instructions review.

 

But not because it’s such exciting material (although it certainly is thought provoking).  No, this treatise addresses the absurdity of some simple cooking directions.

 

Trust me … this is for the good of the planet and all its inhabitants.

 

In case you haven’t made a box of the classic, traditional, good ol’, original Kraft macaroni and cheese lately, allow me to pontificate regarding what may be the most ridiculous cooking instructions (preparation deprecation, I calls it) I’ve ever seen in my 37 years of specializing in gourmet meals.

 

So what’s the big deal?  Why have I brought you here today?

Read and learn, Glasshoppah.

 

To make the cheese sauce, you’re instructed to add to the cooked macaroni and powdered cheese mix 4 tablespoons of butter (nobody says the m-word around here) and ¼ cup of 2% milk.

 

One-quarter of 1 cup of 2% milk and … a half-stick of butter.  A half-stick of butter contains 408 calories.  A quarter-cup of 2% milk contains 31 calories; a quarter-cup of whole milk contains 37.  The entire box of macaroni and cheese—as prepared according to the instructions—contains 1,200 calories (including the 31 milk calories).  The entire box—as prepared using whole milk—contains 1,206.

 2%?  What were they thinking?

Would the food police break down my door if I used … perish the thought … half and half?!

(The thoughts expressed by the writer of this blog and its subsidiary companies are the property of this blog and its sole subsidiaries, and are not intended in any way to disparage the Kraft Foods kitchen staff or its subsidiary companies.)

(Oh, wait … yes, they are.)

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